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* Arcadia Cabana

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  • Brenna: Hey, Arcadians! I started a community on plug.dj for us. Think of it as a chatroom with a jukebox we can all take turns using. Whip up an account and let me know your account name (it's a private room).
    July 02, 2015, 04:14:52 PM
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    June 30, 2015, 02:26:07 PM
  • Edgewise: ;_; Thank you, very much.
    May 25, 2015, 08:27:28 PM
  • Alyss: I hope not!
    May 21, 2015, 03:32:13 PM
  • Edgewise: ...Please tell me this rpg hasn't been abandoned for the second time in six years. Please.
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    October 17, 2014, 10:35:10 AM
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  • Ru: That is so awesome.  :D
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  • Pixie: Kivan would go as Liberace XD
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  • Ru: Kit I think might be a total geek and dress up as some historical figure her dad taught her about.  And then be a little confused that no one knows who she is.
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    October 13, 2014, 06:50:57 PM
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  • * Edgewise is late to the party, as usual
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  • Ingrid: Okay, mind if I improvise?
    September 15, 2014, 01:46:04 PM
  • Alyss: And I've been trying to find a good flower for Phoebe. I've come up with a few (white rose, lily of the valley, magnolia, etc), but haven't settled on one yet.
    September 15, 2014, 01:02:17 PM
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  • Ingrid: I redrew Daki because reasons
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  • Ingrid: [link]
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  • Ingrid: Does Phoebe have a specific symbolic flower?
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Author Topic: Sailor Topaz // Dr Kivan Arji - ACCEPT, BUT  (Read 1675 times)

Pixie

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Sailor Topaz // Dr Kivan Arji - ACCEPT, BUT
« on: September 24, 2013, 11:08:26 AM »
Need a new face, human or cybernetic? I've got your guy right here.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_8kjDsUGgGJcabPWLC6g81cMAWry_r1LL2rXbTCn990/edit?usp=sharing

Enjoy! ^_^
« Last Edit: October 01, 2013, 09:36:43 PM by Sage »

Sage

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Re: Sailor Topaz // Dr Kivan Arji
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2013, 06:00:04 PM »
Thank you Pixie!  It is awesome to see more apps for this poor team <3

The response form for Topaz has been set up and is ready for reviews.  We'll have the reviews back to you by a week from now, on Oct. 1st. 


Sage

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Re: Sailor Topaz // Dr Kivan Arji
« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2013, 09:36:29 PM »
Wheeee for Kivan.  He gets an ACCEPT, BUT.

He is a total balls to the wall villain, and best of all, he chose to be that way in the pursuit of eternal youth.  The reviewers appreciated that he had stuff to strut and was such a bright example of an Iron Angel, and also appreciated his angel personality as being cold, fixated, and in some ways, zealous.  Reviewers loved his devotion to Sin, and thought he'd be pretty brutal towards the poor widdle Revolutionary Senshi.

The major crit of Topaz was actually of the Kivan personality - reviewers understood that he was a 'mask' of Topaz, but still didn't think there was enough consistency between the Topaz and Kivan halves.  Particularly, reviewers said that they need to be sold more on Topaz as an actor, because there isn't enough in his backstory or likes/dislikes/hobbies that would suggest that he could mask his personality well enough to pass as Kivan.  For one thing, OCD and being an actor seemed inconsistent (being so methodical and creative at once), and that gap should be closed, or else exposed as a potential weakness.  Reviewers also had some questions that might help distinguish between the two personalities, which can be seen below.   

His likes/dislikes/hobbies are a good candidate for being reformed, to get more of the acting tie-in.  His like for symmetry and dislike of disorder is repetitive, especially since disorder also features in Seren's app - definitely keep symmetry, since that is more specific to his career.  Pursuing more about pride in the L/D/H could also help too.

So the emphasis is that Topaz/Kivan is fine in terms of who he is, but we could use more definition between who Kivan and Topaz are in the personality and other descriptions.  He is 100% good in terms of the Angel side, we just need to cinch in the alternate personality, and we are fine.  He is Accepted, and we'll hash out the rest before you get into stories (I WANT A STORY). 

(Also Seren and Kivan will both be added to the cast list tomorrow!) 

Comments:

Quote
[Topaz is awesome because] The fact that a) so far he's our only male PC antagonist, b) he's a wonderful little peacock and c) he's actually really devoted to Sin.

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I think the most vivid part of this character is his Iron Angel form-- his abilities not only make sense from his personality & sphere, but they are potentially devastating for the Revolutionary Senshi & can easily work in multiple plot situations. Topaz works very well as a man who was so ruled by his fear of death he transformed himself into a soulless machine. I get why he became an Iron Angel, which I think is very important to establish if the character isn't forced into the role.

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The idol worship, the extremity of the classic Arrogant Doctor trope, and the little obsessions add up to something that you can see appealing to Sin and her world-view.

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I feel as if this [division between Kivan and Topaz personalities] is easily interjected into the application like if Kivan is a great actor, perhaps this can be drawn out in the likes/dislikes/hobbies to better integrate who the character is. Maybe he is a theater nut, constantly nitpicking subpar performances and arguing about inferior stage design. Or if Topaz is charming and light and bright, Kivan, without the face of an angel, comes across as bombastic and prideful and as a big fat jerk. I really like there being a difference between the two personas, I just dont see enough of it in the app as it stands now.


Questions:

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I'd like some hint of what would happen if he was humiliated. His worst failing is pride, so how does it feel when his pride is challenged.

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How would you have the Kivan persona react, outwardly, to a someone uttering anti-Sin propaganda to his face?

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Is there a persona/mask that Topaz does not like putting on?
« Last Edit: October 01, 2013, 09:37:48 PM by Sage »

Pixie

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Re: Sailor Topaz // Dr Kivan Arji - ACCEPT, BUT
« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2013, 09:51:57 AM »
Thank you, Sage and reviewers! I was actually a little concerned going in that Topaz's L/D/H section was a bit sparse, but I didn't have the brain to add to it and hoped it would be sufficient to get across what I was aiming at. Stupid brain.

But your awesome feedback sparked some magic creative juices in my head, and I have made some changes based on the comments and questions you guys raised. Feel free to have another look at the app and see if I have provided the answers you want. ^_^

Thank you again! I LOVE YOU ALL. <3 Can't wait to throw Topaz at the senshi!